Countdown to glitter and rainbows.

I know, I know. Pride is June 25th, but I’m EXCITED. Not only because I want to start buying glitter now, but it’s just a good idea to start the game plan, pack a bag, and GO. There is no greater exhibition of joy, revelry and self-expression on earth then the Pride Parade. It’s beautiful.

It’s also typically pretty sweaty and you’re going to be doing a lot of hollering and walking around, which is great! But it means you’ll want to prepare. You’re going to need supplies.

First—the obvious–sunscreen

Get the sweat-proof stuff. You’re going to be doing a lot of baking in the sun, walking around looking for your friends, walking around looking for a bathroom, walking around looking for the next great sign. Go sporty because you are going to SWEAT and you need to make sure you’re covered. You might think a crop-top sunburn could be cute, but it HURTS — underwear band + sunburned tum tum = tears. (Plus, you don’t want pride-parade skin cancer, do you? No, you don’t. Not in this country.)

Second—the OTHER obvious—WATER

Don’t be a hero, people. Stay hydrated. (See above.) Stay hands-free and refreshed with this two-liter CamelBak. Sure, you might look a little bro-y, but maybe you are a bro, and why are bros an automatic punchline for this generation? Bros love Pride, too, don’t they? Don’t YOU? So wear your CamelBak loud and proud and full of wawa.

Third, praise the heavens

Fanny packs are “in” again. Seriously! At least “in” enough to wear one at the Pride Parade. Remember: the objective is to stay as hands-free as possible. Check out this dope leather one. Keep your keys, wallet, and phone in one secure place.

Fourth! Make your sign, kitten

Get your supplies and settle on your message of hope, love, peace, joy and equality. Don’t forget your markers. Or scissors. May I suggest any of the below?

  • Be careful who you hate. It could be someone you love.
  • I’m out. Are you?
  • Straight? So is spaghetti, until you heat it up
  • If God hates gays, why are we so cute?
  • Love is a terrible thing to hate.

There’s just so much potential here.

And fifth

Open containers are a no-no in almost every public place, so if you’re going to be sipping on drink, do it the classy, on-the-sly way with a flask.

Finally, show your rainbow

Did you know rainbows have signaled gay pride and unity for centuries? Closeted gay people used to use bright colors to signal their homosexuality to each other. And today, of course, rainbows still signal pride. So stock up.

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