No matter how cheerful the season is supposed to be, the holidays are still a stressful time of year. Between catching expensive flights home, splitting up time with families, and avoiding conversations with your drunk Uncle Bruce, you barely have time to actually relax. Here are some tips that will hopefully help you make it through Thanksgiving with your family.
Distract yourself by cooking and/or decorating
“All things Thanksgiving” will help guide you to the right place. I don’t like to cook, but I do like to pretend I’m busy in order to avoid conversations with people I don’t really care about. Trust me, seeing is believing. If you seem busy, you can effectively avoid long, awkward chats with annoying guests. Do yourself a favor and skip out of convos like these: “So, you work on copyrights?” Or, “Ever considered writing for SNL?” You know, the ones where you would literally rather be doing anything other than be trapped talking to insufferable human beings. You wonder to yourself, WHY are they even here? Oh, right, because Aunt Barbara said they didn’t have anywhere else to go for Thanksgiving. Hmm… wonder why.
Indulge in games
Instead of socializing with everyone, gather three people you actually enjoy being around, and play Rummy with them. Start by whipping out the card table. Then, pick your people. Finally, drink, shoot the shit, maybe win some money. You can do this with zero guilt, because you’re still having a great time, it’s just with carefully selected family members. Make sure to check out Buzzfeed’s new awkward social media card game Social Sabotage!
My favorite drinks to make during the holidays are Bloody Marys, Bellinis, and Spiked Apple Ciders. They are refreshing, festive, and delicious. The stronger the drinks, the stronger the family bonds. At least that’s what I tell myself.
Pick a football team to cheer on. And commit to it.
I don’t like sports, but I like sitting on the couch and drinking. I’m convinced football games are on during Thanksgiving for escapism. Find the nearest television, throw on a hat, and call it a day. Who knows, you might even get to know your younger cousin Brad a little bit better. How old is he now, anyway? Kids grow up so fast! Oh no! You’re turning into those awful people you’ve avoided all these years!
Be on the “clean-up crew.”
This gives you a chance to focus on one thing and one thing only: fake cleaning. Here’s what you do: grab those lovely Thanksgiving plates off the dining room table and pass them off to someone who is actually cleaning.Then, quickly disappear into a quiet room so you can finally be alone.
Call dibs on the best room in the house.
You deserve the most quiet room with the most comfortable bed. Why? Because you traveled all the way across the country to be there, damn it. Even if it was only a 30 minute drive home, you still deserve your beauty sleep. You’ll need to save up enough energy in order to fake laugh at your Uncle Tony’s lame, slightly sexist jokes. That is somehow more exhausting than the nine hour flight (and three hour layover). This bleeds nicely into the next talking point.
NO POLITICS AT THE TABLE
Avoid politics at all costs, unless you’re 100% positive that you’re all on the same page. Just do it. Trust me. If someone brings up the election, immediately exit the conversation. Great excuses include: Nature calling, checking on ”something,” or “needing some air.”