There’s a scissor for that. And that. That, too.

Seriously? You’re thinking right now. In our already overstuffed, overcomplicated lives, this woman is going to tell me that my single trusty pair of scissors—the ones I may or may not have lifted from my first office job—aren’t scissors enough for my household?

Yes. That is what I’m going to tell you.

From opening the endless parade of packages and grocery deliveries to pruning houseplants, daily life with just one pair of scissors would be—excuse the pun—very dull, indeed. Need a faster way to cut your toddler’s food? Another tool in your eyebrow-grooming arsenal? SOMETHING, for the love of God, to get your kids’ toy out of the package on Christmas morning while he jumps impatiently up and down at your feet? Behold: there’s a scissor for that. There’s a scissor for ALL that.

The Kitchen Shears

Once you get turned on to the magic of kitchen shears, you may never want to use a knife again. OK, you still have to, a lot of the time. But you’ll always find yourself asking, “Hmmm…is there a way I can do this with my kitchen shears?” first. When you have little kids, it’s hard enough sitting down to eat without the added annoyance of awkwardly manipulating a fork and knife on their sectioned melamine plate to cut up their food. The alternative: snip it all up lickety-split with your kitchen shears! Pizza, waffles, chicken nuggets, spaghetti, hot dogs, STEAK, for goodness sake. Sometimes, I just use them on my own food, too.

The Floral Snips

It would be cruel to trim the stems of those newly delivered red and yellow orchids or prune my weeping fig with the same tired blades my kids use on their art projects. I still maintain I have somewhere right in the middle of a green and a black thumb at best, but using these makes me feel like a loving, well-intentioned plant mom.

The Package Opener

The flip side to this lovely modern age where we can order everything with a swipe or voice command is packaging. So much packaging. In addition to the boxes and boxes that come to my house daily, there are the impossible-to-open plastic clamshell-wrapped objects and the toys zip-tied to cardboard within an inch of their lives. This multi-use wonder lets you “beat wrap rage” and cut quickly through all of the above. Best of all, it includes a snap-in combination screwdriver for open sesame-ing those battery compartments. In a word: lifesaving.

The Hair Cutting Shears

I have made a lot of nightmarish mistakes playing at-home hairdresser with my bangs or my children’s cowlicks over the years, and I’m sure that at least 50% of them could have been helped somewhat if I had used the right scissors for the job. Even if you have sworn off doing it ever again (you should), someone might walk into the house with a head full of gum any minute now, and you’ll be glad to have these around.

The Personal Grooming Scissors

I may be the klutziest person you’ll ever meet, so when it comes to cutting anything on or near my skin, I’ll opt for the baby scissors with “rounded tips for safety” every time. These have helped me out of an unruly eyebrow jam on more than one occasion. They’re also good for carefully trimming baby’s delicate nails and wayward newborn fluff hair (no way I’m going near an infant’s head with sharp Hair Styling Shears), and anything else that starts cropping up in weird places with age (enough said).

 

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